Learn to Let Go
by clumsyclown
Summary: Shiho knew she loves Shikamaru, but she also knew that they're never going to be more than friends. When Temari came and Shikamaru seemed like he's starting to like her, Shiho starts to learn to let go. Mostly Shiho POV, READ AND R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note :** This is a ShikaXTema actually, but it's about Shiho's feeling to their relationship. Shiho POV

**Disclaimer :** I own nothing except for the story plot line

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Learn to Let Go

Chapter 1: When I Met Him

It was when Lord Fukasaku-sama gave Tsunade-sama the code that Jiraiya-sama left before he died, he came to my dad's research center and asked if we could find any clues in the codes. The first time i saw him, i got attracted to him, he seem more mature than his real age-it's about 16 i guess-his lazy and relaxed attitude, his intelligence, his muscular voice, and ofcourse, his face. He was quite handsome, everybody would notice that, and above all of them; _his smile_. I could feel my check blushing whenever he smiles, eventhough i knew that his smile wasn't directed to me, im just...happy to see it.

We work together for a quite long time to encrypted the codes Jiraiya-sama had left behind, we worked with Sakura, and Naruto sometimes come to help too, we spent a lot times together, sometimes we even hanging out somewhere. During that time, i've figured a lot about his personalities. He is lazy, doesn't like to do any work, he's very nice, loves to laugh, he really cares about his friends, and a very responsible man.

I really enjoyed whenever I was around him, and I started to realized that Im not attracted to him,_ I love him_. I loved him because his personalities, i love him because we had spent a lot time together and I enjoyed to be near him, and the last but not least, I love him because of his appearance.

I knew, I knew_ for sure_ that I'll never make him mine, I'm not attracting at all. I look like a total nerd, and I am a total nerd. Shikamaru was considered as the 'popular guys among the girls' and there's no popular and cool guy that want to go out with an ugly nerd like me. And I've never been so good with people around me, I don't have many friends, and the friends I have don't count me as their bests, they didn't come at me when they have problems or something like that, it made me feel kinda.. abandoned?

I don't even know why I could be this close to Shikamaru, once again, he's in the 'cool guys' group. But he's very nice to everybody afterall, so maybe it was the reason why i could get this close to him

I always tried to get rid of this pain in my chest everytime i remembered that he's never going to be mine, I've been accustomed to this kind of feeling so it wasn't very hard

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It's a nice, bright day today when we, eventually, find out what the codes mean. Naruto isn't here, he's in a sage mode training with Lord Fukasaku-sama. "The real one is not among them," that's what the codes said. Eventough we already encrypted it, we still don't know what that sentence means.

I'm feeling very happy that I'm able to help him and he 'thankyou'ed me a lot of times! I can feel these butterflies inside my stomach started to dance, but I don't take that 'thankyou' very seriously because I know that he decided that there's nothing between us, we're just a good friends.

When we just about to bring the meaning of the codes that we've just figured out to Tsunade-sama, suddenly there's a big 'BANG' sounds everywhere, then we go to check the situation and we realize that someone or something is attacking Konoha, we are very panic that time as everything starting to ruined, he trying to calm down and thinking what we must do now

"Okay, Sakura! go check out the injuries and take care of them, then go to the hospital immediately! they must be very busy now" he said, looks like he is sure about what he's saying

"Shiho!" I jerked as he calls my name, "go tell the Hokage eventough i know that she already knew what happen! and tell her the meaning of the codes"

"A..and where are you going?" I ask, worried

"I'm going to help the others" he give 'that smile' to convince me, "now get going!"

"O-okay!" I'm heading towards the Hokage's building immediately

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When I reached the Hokage's office I saw many peoples there, there are ANBUs, also chuunins and jounins. Lady Tsunade were giving them orders and she looked kinda panic too

When she were done with them, I tell her the meaning of the codes immediately and she frowned,

"I really have no idea about this, Shiho" she say

"Me too, Tsunade-sama. But now we should place the village and the villager's safety in priority! We could talk about this later!" I say, failing to act calm

"Yeah, you're right. Shizune! tell one squad of the ANBU to get help from Suna!"

"Alright, master!" Shizune say then leaves Tsunade-sama's office

"S..Suna?" I ask, I'm currently thinking about _a certain girl_ from Suna, "isn't that too far?"

"Yes you're right, but at least we need some of their ninjas to help rebuilding our village if this damn attack is over, besides we have the best amity with Suna than any other villages" Tsunade giving me a hasty explanation

I can't think of anything, if _she_ is going to this village..then..ARRGGHH! I must forget about this for a while, the village is in the middle of war right now!

"Lady Tsunade, did you know who attacked us?"

"Yes, it's the Akatsuki, now Shiho! go back and help the others and be extremely careful please! I need to protect you and all of the villagers, it's my job afterall" Tsunade exclaimed

"Yes, Tsunade-sama!" I replied and get out of her room and running towards the research center, I'm running through the BIG chaos, "Dad, please be okay, please!..." I preventing myself not to cry

And since that, my _REAL_ suffering and pain start...

To Be Continued

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**Actually Im planning that this' going to be a one-shot, but it's really hard for me to make a one-shot -_-**

**And I'm planning on make this a sad-love story, poor Shiho :'(**

**R & R please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** Here's the second! Sorry for the (very) late update!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto

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Learn to Let Go

Chapter 2

"run! shiho, run as fast as you can!" I tell myself, I'm still running towards my dad's research center as the situation getting worse. From what I saw before, it looks like the Akatsuki are very strong, and the attack has been expanded. All I could think of right now is my dad. I don't know and I don't even want to know what will happen to me if my dad..if my dad...stop it shiho!

Soon as I reach the research center, I slam the door open, and I found...nothing, and no one.

"Dad?" Im shouting to the room but i hear no answer

"Oh God," Im searching all over the research center then I remembered, "the underground laboratory!" I run downstairs with so much speed that I almost think that I'm flying

When Im in the underground laboratory, I find out that half of the room have been blown up, I never thought that they're able to detect and destroy an underground room, when I'm wandering around the laboratory, my foot steps on something soft

"Huh? what is- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" I scream with all voice i have but ofcourse, no one there that hear my scream.

"D..dad?" I ask, my voice is shaking rapidly as I see my dad laying on the bloody floor, he's very pale, his eyes closed, and there's blood stain on his laboratory uniform. I can't believe what I see. He's gone. He's already gone. Forever.

I fell on the floor beside my dad's body and Im hyperventilating, then I started to crying very loud. it's like I want to shout and blame everyone for this. I don't care if that Akatsuki will kill me when I'm here. At least I can go with my dad if they kill me...

"Dad..did you have to go? why? what's wrong with me? did you hate me so much that you'll be better if you're not with me?" I ask my dad's body

Im crying so hard that I have lost my ability to breathe, I'm gasping for air so hard and the last thing I remembered that everything become dark

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"Uh..." I murmured and rubbing my head, it feels very dizzy, I wonder why. Then I realized that I'm in the hospital, "why the hell im in here.."

Then that memory hits me like a bullet, "Dad..Dad!" I screamed very loud, don't care about the fact that im currently in a hospital

Sakura rushed into the room, "What happened?" She sounds panic

"n..no..nothing" I answered, starting to cry again "..its m-my dad, i still c-can't believe it"

"Shiho..." Sakura said sympathetically "be patient, a shinobi must face the truth bravely," she give me a hug

I took a long refreshing breathe, trying so damn hard to face the cruel reality, I still can't though, but I'll try

"W-where is he?" I ask

"He's with Master Shizune"

"Can I s-see him f-for t-the last t-time?" Im still half-sobbing

"Yes, but now is not the time, there are a lot injured villagers here, we must treat them too," Sakura explained

"What about the attack? if im here does it mean the village...the attack is over?" I ask hopefully

"Yes," Sakura smiled "and Naruto is the one who stops the Akatsuki"

"N-Naruto? He's the one?" I said, amazed "I really never thought about that"

"Me too," Sakura said, "now you should get some rest, im sure your dad doesnt want to see his daughter in a bad condition"

What Sakura just said makes me want to cry again, but I was able to stop my tears from running down my cheeks

Suddenly there's a knock on the door, "Come in!" Sakura said

The person on the door makes my heart jumping rapidly, Im very happy to have him visited me, Im very happy at the fact that he care about me, but then that happiness gone when I saw her beside him.

Sabaku no Temari, Suna's deputy for some political things with Konoha and also the prettiest girl I ever saw. I hate to admit it but I envy her so much. She's pretty, and strong, she got nice body and also she's always so confident with herself. I really wanna be her! When I'm around her, it makes me more realizes that the world isn't fair.

And above that all, I envied her because Shikamaru _likes _her. Not in the same way he likes me as friend, he likes her in a very different way. Ofcourse, if the villagers asked him, he would deny it but everyone could see that in his eyes, he admires her. I'm okay with it, because i have get used to broken heart, but my feelings to Shikamaru are quite different, I love him more than any other guys-it's not like I have fell in love before-it makes me really wanna scream in front of his face, "I LOVE YOU DANG IT! DON'T YOU SEE? ISN'T THAT OBVIOUS?"

"Er..Shiho? Hello?" his muscular voice wakes me up from my thoughts

"Eh? Shikamaru! I'm really glad you're save, I still can't believe Naruto fought Pein all alone!" I said and smiled happily

"Yeah, I'm really happy you're save," he hug me tightly and, as you could imagine, my face turned red like crazy, "I'm really sorry for your dad, too" then he let me go from his heartbeat-stopper hug

"I-it's okay, really" I tried to give him a smile but ends up I'm sobbing again

"I'm really sorry for you too," Temari said sympathetically, "I know how it feels, losing someone you love"

"Huh?" I ask her, "Im sorry I ask you this but, did you..an.."

"Orphan? yes I am," Temari said looked sad but she still smiling, "I've lost my parent since I was young"

"I'm sorry to hear that.." I said while thinking, how could she be this strong? and why I can't be like her?

"It's okay, at least now you know someone who is the same with you, we could understand each other now" Temari smiled again

"I didn't know you were this nice," Shikamaru said, teasing her, "You're very different when you're with me, you're fierce, troublesome, fussy and..." SMACK! he couldn't finish his sentence

"Thankyou for the opinion lazy ass" Temari answered calmly

"Hahaha, you two look cute when fighting," Sakura commented, she said such a thing because she didn't know my feelings to Shikamaru, no one know actually, just me...and my dad.

Shikamaru just murmured "troublesome" at Sakura's comment but I can see he's blushing a bit. And Temari just gave her a 'wtf' look

I just laughed outside, but inside, I really can't hold my tears, I can't imagine if I must deal with such a pain for a long time, or at least as long as I love Shikamaru.

"Well, I guess Shiho need some rest after you two entertained her" Sakura says

"Yeah, I feel kinda dizzy" I said, in fact, I don't feel dizzy at all, I just want to buy sometimes alone

"It's okay then..." Shikamaru said "Getwell really soon!" then he give me a big smile

"Okay! I promise I'll be well in a short time"

"Good then, let's go Temari, you need to go to Lady Tsunade" Shikamaru said then leave the room

"Okay, let's go Sakura, and get well soon yo Shiho!" Temari grinned

"Bye Shiho, make sure you have enough rest and I'll check your condition later" Sakura smiled, then closed the door

When they already left I hear Sakura asked Shikamaru & Temari about the gossip that says they both are dating. They deny it ofcourse.

Im starting to cry again but Im trying to not make a noise so no one could hear the sobbing voice. I don't know what to do, I feel I'm crushed, outside and inside. I've lost my father, the only one who could understand me since my mother gone...the only one I could share my problems with...the only one who really and truly noticed me...and now he's gone.

I really don't know what to do and what to feel, I'm depressed.

Then I cried 'till I fell asleep, hopefully when I wake up I'm already in heaven with dad...

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**AH What a piece of crap this chapter is-_- ugh sorry if this' sucks**


	3. Chapter 3

**THE THIRD CHAPTER!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot ;)**

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Learn to Let Go

Chapter 3

**END OF SHIHO POV**

It's a nice shiny morning when Shiho wake up, she yawned in her bed then rubbed her eyes, "Huh? morning already? time goes too fast"

Suddenly Sakura came in and write something in the paper she brought;

"Well your condition is good Shiho, you may leave this evening," Sakura said happily, much to Shiho's delight, "Have breakfast yet?"

"No I haven't eat any, not really in the mood"

"Alright then someone will bring the food soon," Sakura said then leave the room hastily, she has to check the condition of other patients

"Sigh it really must have been very tiring for her to be a medic-nin in this kind of situation" Shiho told herself

She walked to the window and saw many children are playing near the hospital, '_even after the attack that crushed the village, they still laugh and acting all happy, it must be fun to be them hey dad, did you know that I miss you? take care there_'

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When she's already out from the hospital she just wandering around the village, really don't know what to do, watching peoples rebuilding the village, the attack really is messed the village up

"It's fun to walk around the village, isn't it?" she thought, "I spent too much time in the laboratory"

Thinking about the laboratory reminds her of her house, then she walked to the direction of her house

When she finally there she saw that her house's condition isn't really that bad...probably because her house (as the Konoha research laboratory too) is near the forest and quite far from the village so the attack doesn't reached there, but that also means that her house isn't going to be rebuilded soon

"Looks like I have to live in a mess, or rebuild it myself" she told herself. Then she started to check every rooms in the house, it makes her feel the pain in her heart again when she remembered her father died there. She cleaned the house all by herself since it's hadn't been blown up back then, but the underground laboratory is sealed so she just cleaned the upper level of the house.

Even there's no great damage in the house's construction, cleaned them all just by one person is exhausting and it's already night when she realized she's hungry. She walked to a small temporary ramen place, but before even the ramen is ready yet, she fell asleep in the counter

"Need sleep..." was her last words before she fell asleep

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**SHIHO POV**

"I don't know that you could sleep anywhere, hahaha" someone laughed at her

That voice. That gorgeous voice. I think Im still in the dream land to hear that voice, the last thing I remembered I was in my house cleaning all the mess, but then I feel a touch on my right arm

"Hey, wake up! You have to eat first, your body is bit cold you may caught a fever" someone said, someone with his voice

"Huh?" I answered, I opened my eyes slowly then I saw green everywhere but it looked blur. Oh yeah, my glasses, where do I put it? I can't see without it. poor me

"Here" he gives me my glasses, when I already see everything clearly, I noticed that I was in green tent, a big one, then I see the boy that talking in front of me. He was...Shikamaru. Crap. Why is he even here? Oh Kami what should I do?

"Wake up already?" he smiled

"WAAAAHHH! WHY ARE YOU HERE? DONT YOU SEE THAT IM SLEEPING?" I can't help myself from blushing when I see him with that smile

"What the fuck? shut up before everyone wake up!" he said, "this is my tent Shiho, and you really should thanking me for bring you here, you were sleeping at the Ramen stand and I thought as your friend, it's best to bring you here"

"Oh..." I said, well I remember it now that I fell asleep at the Ramen stand. And knowing that he helps me makes me wanna hug him right there. It takes so much powers to make myself didn't do that

"Hey you really need to eat, you haven't have your dinner are you?" he asked

"Actually I didn't have my lunch, too" I answered innocently. Why did he even care?

"That's it. You to the public kitchen now"

"O-okay" I answered, he looks somewhat scary

When we're on the way I saw that there are many tents and many people there, looks it was a temporary house for the survivors from the attack

"Oh yeah, I don't know where's my mom and what is she doing this late, but she said don't worry, probably she's somewhere with Ino's mom, and my dad is at the Hokage's office, he must be doing so hard that the Hokage isn't there" he said

"Yeah," I agreed him, "by the way where are your age-mates?"

"I don't know either. There are lots of works we have to do, but it makes this place looks live" He told me, I dont know why but he seemed happy, weird

"What about Temari?" I dont really wanna know the answer, actually

"At the Hokage's office. She must been very busy now, but I think she'll be here soon" He answered while looking towards the direction of the new Hokage's office

"Oh" was my only answer, "Oh yeah, what time is it?"

"11pm, why?"

"Oh my God it's so late! I've gotta go back to my house" I answered, feeling panic

"Wow, calm down, why? can't you stay here for the night?"

"Are you kidding? Im sure there's no tent left and I don't really know people here" I explained

"Huh? then what about sleeping in my tent?"...WHAT? HE'S OFFERING ME WHAT? I really can't help myself from blushing like crazy this time,

"Th..then what about y-you?" I asked, Im sure my voice is shaking

"Hahahaha relax, I could just sleep at Kiba's or Naruto's or somewhere, and you have to be closer to the villagers you know"

"Well..that's just okay then"

"Great! now to the kitchen" He grabbed my arm, well not my hand-but it still makes my heart jumping- and pulled me to the big kitchen that they use together

I think fell asleep at the ramen stand like that wasn't really bad...

To Be Continued

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**R&R PLEASE!**


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